Veggietales Ü

NOTE: this isn’t mine as it belongs to TheCoolMemer2019

As a kid I grew up in a Christian household, My childhood was very different from other kids' childhoods.

My parents were very strict and didn't let me watch tv shows other kids were allowed to watch. I wasn't allowed to watch SpongeBob because my parents thought it would turn me gay, I also wasn't allowed to watch Pokémon because it was apparently satanic. The shows they let me watch were not that good, shows like Bibleman and Psalty the fucking Songbook I found awful even as a kid.

The only show I found enjoyable was Veggietales. Unlike the other it didn't shove the fucking bible in my face and it was actually quite good. I owned most of the episodes and I also owned the silly song CDs.

Eventually I grew up and moved out. Nowadays I’m an atheist but I act like I'm still religious around my parents. The other day I wanted to relive my childhood so I went to the local Goodwill to look for some Veggietales DVDs.

When I arrived I went to the DVD to look for Veggietales DVDs, But I only found the shitty in the house version, just when I was about to leave I stuck my hand in one of those DVD barrels they have at Walmart. I stuck my hand to the bottom, when I miraculously pulled out a Veggietales DVD out of sheer luck.

But It wasn't a normal Veggietales DVD, The DVD cover had the name of the episode, It was called Veggietales Ü. I wanted to know what that creepy U symbol with the 2 dots was, so I went on a Veggietales forum online and I asked what the hell this episode was.

An hour later I got a reply to my forum post. The reply read “Must be related to the Toy Story Ü films”- User. I searched up what Toy Story Ü was, Apparently they were demented versions of the Toy Story films that had weird and disturbing content. After that I really did not want to watch the DVD I found, but of course, curiosity got the best of me.

I shoved the DVD into the player and got a can of Spaghettios from the year 1972, I ate it even though it tasted like rat shit. Before the episode started I saw some previews for movies that looked awful, I watched a preview for some stupid family film from 2012 as I ate away at the Spaghettios that probably had a society of bacteria living in it.

The episode started off on the Big Idea logo but instead of saying Big Idea it said Small Idea and It showed a picture of a salad. I didn't know what that meant but the salad was probably the chopped up remains of the veggietales characters.

It then played a shitty rap cover of the veggietales theme song. Lyrics such as “lima bean, collard green,” etc. Were replaced with a middle aged man saying Ü repeatedly.

After the theme song, it showed Bob and Larry on the countertop is usual but the countertop looked all dirty and neglected.

“Hi kids welcome to Veggietales Ü” Bob the Tomato said in a voice that sounded drunk

“Bob what the hell is the Ü?”  Larry asked in his regular voice

I was surprised to hear swearing in a Christian cartoon, I thought this was made for children.

“How dare you question the almighty Ü” Bob screamed.

“Who killed JFK?” Bob asked

“Lee Harvey Oswald?” Larry responded

“No its the fucking Ü, you need to become one with the Ü.” Bob yelled

Bob then began to ramble about how important the Ü is.

I thought this was supposed to teach kids about God, not the fuckin’ Ü.

“Bob we have a letter” Larry said

Bob then stopped speaking about the Ü and began reading the letter.

“Dear Bob and Larry

I hate you both

There is no such thing as the Ü

Get a life.

From Willy Billiam

Bob responded with “Ok you can say all you want about me, but I know Where Ü live.”

That line sounded familiar, I don't know what it was from but I remember it.

After the countertop scenes It cuts to Junior, Laura and a bunch of other kids in a classroom. The teacher was doing some math equations, when out of nowhere Mr. Potato Head from Toy Story barges into the room.

I guess he was from the demented version of Toy Story I heard about.

“OH, SHIT OH FUCKING YEAH!” He shouted while he proceeded to throw the teacher out the window.

After that, he began to teach the kids about evolution.

“As you can see kids, vegetables evolved from monkeys.” Mr. Potato Head said in the voice of a Harvard professor.

“That makes no sense.” said one of the vegetable children.

Mr. Potato Head then proceeded to scream at him and sent him to detention.

After that Mr. Potato head continued to teach the children his demented teachings until the FBI barged into the school and arrested Mr Potato Head for some reason before the FUCKIN BABY EINSTEIN GOAT PUPPET CAME IN WITH A BOMB IN IT'S FUCKIN’ MOUTH AND IT EXPLODED.

After that we see the USS Applepies spaceship from Are You my Neighbor flying through space. It was chasing after another spaceship. Jimmy Gourd was piloting the ship. Scooter the carrot walked in.

“Shoot him down” Scooter commanded

“I can't, It's going too fast.” Jimmy responded

“It’s what we forced to do” Scooter replied

Scooter then took over piloting the ship and went into full speed. I realized the ship they were chasing after was the Rockhopper from 321 Penguins, another show Big Idea made.

You won't believe this happened, but FUCKING BOOGER FROM MIXELS came out of nowhere, steered the ship towards the sun and hopped out of the ship, Causing the USS Applepies to crash into the sun.

It then showed a newspaper that had a headline that read “NASA sends people to the sun”

After that It cut to Pa Grape filming himself saying conspiracy theories about the government and how its planning to ban Doritos or some shit. Ma Grape walked in on Pa Grape and proceeded to scold him about their marriage. The 2 grapes argued about shit for 3 hours until It finally ended on the Pa Grape getting hit on the head with a DVD copy of Hoodwinked 2 Hood vs Evil and suffering brain damage.

After that it showed the Fib from Outer Space destroying a city until he ran into King Kong and Godzilla battling, The Fib joined in on the battle and 3 of them fought until. The Fib stepped on a Lego and began screaming in pain like he had just been shot.

Kong and Godzilla then teamed up and beat the Fib to death. After that, we see Kong and Godzilla fell in love and began kissing. It then showed a line of text that red “Property of Warner Brothers Pictures, Do Not Release” before fucking Klapto from upbeat tales ripped the screen in half and said “okay, that’s fucking it. Go home, jackass.”

I guess this was the original ending to Godzilla vs Kong.

It then cut to a YouTube video of a middle aged obese man ranting on Veggietales saying that it was the worst cartoon ever.

“In conclusion Veggietales is the worst cartoon ever, the Loud House is a thousand times better.” said the guy in the video.

After that it cuts to Silly Songs with Larry except it was called Ü Songs with Larry for some reason.

It showed Larry playing the banjo singing a song about how his wife took the kids to military school.

Did I really need to listen to this? I could have a high paying job and a family right now but I’m here watching some bootleg episode of Veggietales.

This obviously wasn't made by Big Idea, this was most likely made by some college students high on all sorts of drugs that got access to animation software.

I tried to turn off the tv but for some reason it would turn off. It's like this thing was designed to torture me.

We then see Bob and Larry on the countertop laughing for no apparent reason, The 2 of them then began to melt into some disgusting liquid, just as I thought this wasn't going to get weirder. I saw my dog on the countertop licking the liquid.

How the fucks was he in here? I was honestly questioning my sanity, I felt like I was dreaming the whole thing.

It then goes back to Mr. Potato Head (which makes no sense because he was killed by the explosion) and we see him in a literal kangaroo court, filled with kangaroos talking in shitty Australian accents. We also see Junior testify in court.

“The madman broke into our classroom and began saying nonsense.” Junior said angrily.

"Take him away to be executed this instant!" One of the kangaroos wearing a judge's outfit said.

Mr. Potato was sentenced to death and was charged with 3rd degree manslaughter, breaking and entering, assault and teaching without a degree just to name a few of the crimes he was fuckin’ charged with.

I don't remember Mr. Potato Head doing all this in Toy Story, This honestly freaked me out for some reason. how a toy could do all this?

After that we thankfully see Mr. Potato Head’s execution. Instead of being put on an electric chair, he was thrown in a microwave to die.

“Oh shit, Oh no!” Mr. Potato Head hollered while he was being fried alive, The executioner then set the microwave to the highest setting and Mr. Potato Head exploded into mashed potatoes. All the veggietales characters watching his death began to cheer at the sight of Mr. Potato Head dead.

It then cut to cable interference and showed a clip of Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy at Wendy's ordering a Pizza.

“Sir, we don't sell pizza,” the employee said.

The employee then gave Herbert a burger, and you won't believe what happened next.

Herbert then took the burger, threw it at a random child and started having a food fight. Herbert then ran into the bathroom and crawled under the stall.

“Would you like a pizza?” He said while showing a Scottish looking man a pizza made out of burger ingredients.

The man screamed "NO WAY IN HELL YOU OLD DIPSHIT!" and ran out of the stall and Herbert went down the toilet like Mario going down a pipe.

What the hell did this have to do with Veggietales?

We then see fucking Dr. Eggman (yes, that’s right) from the sonic games having a birthday at the Cheesecake Factory when all of a sudden Mr. & Mrs. Asparagus appeared on top of the birthday cake and said "Time to spicen things up!" "What the hell do you mean spicen things up?" Eggman asked. Mr. Asparagus fucking shat on the birthday cake and Mrs. Asparagus popped all the balloons.

What the fuck assholes, why would Mr. and Mrs. Asparagus do that? Eggman was absolutely upset because the 2 asparaguses ruined his birthday. "YOU JUST RUINED MY BIRTHDAY! I’M GONNA MOTHERFUCKIN’ BLAST YOU!” Eggman hollered as he whipped out a fucking laser gun and shot down Mr. & Mrs. Asparagus killing both of them instantly. He then looked at his robot minions and said “Well, at least it wasn’t that dumbass chuckfuck hedgehog, right?” Before the scene changed.

What the hell was that?

We then saw Some random young couple making out, I knew that something was going to happen.

Mr. Lunt appears out of nowhere and says “Mike is cheating on you Rosie.”

Mike gasps and Rosie begins to weep for a few seconds.

After Rosie stopped weeping she said "I didn't even know you cheated on me."

What a cunt, I’m gonna start calling Mr. Lunt Mr. Cunt because he’s a goddamn cunt.

We then see Bob and Larry going back in time to the year 1977. In the year 1977 we see them hacking into a Tv Broadcast, Bob begins listing events that will happen in the future.

He said stuff that happened in the 80s,90s and the 2000s but he began saying stuff that will happen in the 2030s. He says that we will go to war with Finland in the year 2034, He also said that Apple will file for bankruptcy in 2039.

I fell asleep and woke up to what looked like a HowToBasic video of some guy destroying the countertop. I don't know how long the episode lasted but I was tired of it so I took it out of the DVD player.

This time I was able to turn it off. Unlike last time, I was planning on destroying the DVD but my dog took it and buried it in the backyard.

Hopefully that’s the last I fuckin’ see of Veggietales Ü.