Regular Show - "Nobody Likes Benson"

If you're reading this, you should know that I feel like I'm in a downward spiral a lot of times. Sometimes, I get up from bed, eat breakfast, go to work or school, go home, read creepy stories, see some dank ass 4chan memes, then go to sleep. Then, other times, I change my mind, probably getting a $576 card from the bank to gamble it all away on pink skeleton shirts, watch Bill O' Reilly reruns for endless hours; since I have no life; and just wash away memories. Until recently, because I discovered something that I am 100% attached to and I've been saying my peace on... which is, I am a fan of Regular Show.

Regular Show is a great *snicker, snicker* show. Why? Because it's an abnormal show unlike many other animated cartoon show I've seen in the last 10 or 20 years since I was born. It features a blue jay named Mordecai and a raccoon named Rigby who work for a gumball machine named Tom Serv-- err I mean Benson, who yells a lot, and turns red every time he gets pissed. Wait, why did I mention the show's plot when you already know the show in the first place, duh! But, if there is one thing that people may or may not know about... well, many people did know about... Regular Show had a lost episode that was never aired, it was rumored to be titled, "Nobody Likes Benson."

One day, I worked at a video game store owned by a couple of smelly ass cuckold soyboys. They told me to sell Uncharted 4 and Doom 2016 for $1 each because those two were on sale before the end of the month. I was kinda expecting yet another day at the game store where I'm greeted with shitty tumblr users and a bunch of braindead Rick and Morty fanfucks-- neither here or there-- but the customer that came in, who was actually German demanded a copy of Wario Ware for the Virtual Boy for the same price, but that game was only $20. He didn't have that money, so he graciously traded me a present... a VHS tape, of course! It was written in neon pink Comic Sans font, "Regular Show: Nobody Likes Benson," which is a lost episode of Benson, and had a swastika on his forehead, with a picture of Mordecai and Rigby smeared all over! Reeeee-- I was so happy at that moment, that I left work early, that I told my boss that I was gonna smoke my faggot, which somehow led my boss to fire me. Wait, doesn't he know that faggot meant cigarrette in British terms? What a faggot.

But yeah, I left work by driving my 1965 Chevorlette Corvette to my $900,000 apartment. Yes, yes, yes! I put the tape on, rewound the tape (this German man wasn't kind to this tape at all), fix the co-ax cables, and as soon as the tape finished rewinding, I pushed play!

The episode began normally, with Benson yelling at Mordecai and Rigby for not doing their chores at the park. However, Mordecai seemed a little depressed and looked like he wanted to cry and Rigby looked like he wanted to vomit. It seemed like they were tortured by Benson, in a realistic manner. "Dude," Mordecai says, "What has Benson done to us. He's such a pasta." Wait, is he referring to Creepypasta? Oh, whatever.

We cut to Benson, who looked like he was listening to "Weathered" by Creed, which is one of the greatest albums of all time made by the greatest bands that ever hit the airwaves. Which is all true, but with the distorted colors, I was scared. Benson seemed a little depressed (and more times than not, frightened even). It looks like he wants to apologize to Mordecai and Rigby but as he walks out and he sees a man that looked like George Jetson teabagging Mordecai and Rigby. It seemed like Cartoon Network wanted to revive The Jetsons by making a Regular Show/Jetsons crossover, but I digress.

Benson leaves the park and asks himself, "What am I doing with my life?" Then, a picture of the 9/11 attacks appeared on screen, which ruins the mood of the episode. Then, we cut to Benson, on the floor dead. The tape ended.

I questioned myself on why this episode exists... is this a comedic prank or a satire, or is this somehow real? Still what the fuck is this shit!? After getting psychotherapy and trying to hug my teddy bear Chesterton, I breathed for fresh air. All of a sudden, out in the distance, someone someway somehow came back for me... it was a German man! He wanted the tape back for me! I ran as fast as I can back to my apartment, hiding from the German man, but as powerful as he is, he came out faster, and faster, and faster! And it turns out, he is actually... George Jetson!

"Now that I know where you live," said George, "I need to see the tape immediately!" He strangled me, and shoved three testicles in my face! Then, I fainted in a coma, and the last thing I saw was George giggling and grabbing the tape, and shoving it in my face! Plus, Benson is actually real, because he came out and used a chainsaw to slash my half.

Well, that's Regular Show alright.

...fuck it! Reeeeeeeeeee---